Who's Online
We have 12 guests online
|
If It Matters To You Then It Matters |
Many times, {most especially in romantic involvements} we get so caught up in repetitive apparent dead-end situations where solutions are blatantly obvious, but because of the familiar life-infusing addiction to the emotional drama involved, we refuse to see the ‘forest for the trees.’ We spend far too much time discussing the negative components of the so-called problem, instead of working toward a productive resolution. It’s almost ‘as if’ we don’t want ‘things’ to be resolved. {To resolve would mean we would have to break free from our long held ideas and convictions that we currently hold of the other and ourselves.} The ‘road to recovery’ flags us at every bend, yet we refuse to acknowledge the signposts. We stare into the ‘pit of despair’ as if we don’t have any idea how things could have gotten this bad, difficult or complicated. In the beginning of our relationships, we never would have believed that something like this could have happened to us. When did we become one of those pitiful people who are stuck (neck deep) in a relationship where there is absolutely no communication, whatsoever? We spend our days all tangled up, agitated, confused, and angry, ‘on edge’ {not to mention sexually frustrated.}. It seems almost pointless to cover the same ground over and over and over again when the outcome remains the same, unresolved. We start to believe a lie; that, no relief is available, resolving ourselves to ongoing misery. We pretend to accept what we can’t change and try to make the best of it. But, deep down we KNOW we can’t go on like this. It’s as if we are living someone else’s life. “It just aint supposed to be this way.” So what are we to do? If we truly want to find some sense of peace and happiness, what measures do we need to take? The first objective: stop battling! Refuse to be at odds with yourself. No matter how definitive ‘in the right’ you believe your position to be, you must empty your mind of any need for a seemingly satisfying result. You must accept your portion of the unpleasant situation as an insistent stubborn refusal to move beyond left over emotional residue. This colored emotional turmoil is preventing you from seeing what you are actually experiencing. Meaning: you slip into an overt unawareness (‘you go blank’ by not really listening to what is being said underneath) which has you STUCK. It’s sorta like subversive quicksand. You are so caught up in unproductive unflattering memories of the previous accumulated arguments, fights, disagreements, shouting matches and silent fumes that you are poisoning your mind and aging your body. You are ‘dumping shit’ on your head without any need of participation from the other. Because your mind is so clouded by resentful preconceived ideas and notions, you are not present in the room at any time when you face your partner. When encountering him/her you are flooded by overwhelming debilitating emotions. You must bring yourself to the present! If the relationship/involvement means anything to you, you absolutely can not continue to slip into the same old ways and patterns of relating. {Knowing what’s going to be said before it is spoken.} Get out of the past and get into now. N.O.W.: New Operation Warranted requires of you to be present. But, you may ask, “Why do “I” have to be the one?” Because, IF it matters to you, THEN, it matters. That’s the bottom line in a nutshell. There’s a stark difference in communicating strategies but you must experience the validity of the negotiating encounter before it can become real. {Just a bunch of fancy words strung together that says: “Stop being so defensive, hard-headed and stubborn.”} No amount of talking will make something out of nothing IF it doesn’t mean anything to you. Unless you are willing and able to let go of the extenuating factors involved in volatile situation, {with all its derisive tentacles} you will continue to breed a devouring consuming relationship monster, which you don’t have the strength, ingenuity or defenses to combat. [Nothing’s worth that.] Talk about stress! You’re bringing new meaning to the word. I agree, “It’s really difficult staying present;” not letting your mind run into yesterday, last week, month, year, or even 10 years ago. But, let’s face it. There comes that time in everyone’s life when YOU must move on. Get over it. [Yourself] You must let go of your wounded pride. IF that requires of you to be wrong even when you KNOW you’re right, be wrong a 1000 times over. It’s you that the MATTER is consuming, not the other. When are you going to realize that? IF you think it’s a matter of justice or ‘getting even’, forget it. Aint no EVEN. (Ask any skilled mathematician/scientist; there’s always the imperceptible variable.) What’s so important about driving your point home, anyway? Who appointed you scorekeeper? Furthermore, why do you need to think of yourself as someone so special to have been appointed such a Sovereign position to begin with? The one who doles out justifiable retribution? Excuse me, while I bow. You are not dealing with anything except your own unresolved insecurities. If you are not careful, you may so exaggerate the importance of the idea of who you think you are until it will be nearly impossible to bring you back into the land of real ‘living breathing human beings’, who are filled with defects, frailties and imperfections. You know, the land where the rest of us live: the ones who make mistakes, who can admit they’re wrong and can be obliging when necessary. What? You still need an apology? Why? Why does anyone ever have to say he/she is sorry? It’s unnatural and degrading. No one is ever sorry for an experience that is an essential part of the divine growth entailed for his/her deliverance and exaltation. Give me a break. If he/she was sorry, [as you declare you desire} what would you have to do with him/her? Would that not place you in a more notable position to laud your high held regard over that lowly soul? Are you implying the other would be fortunate to receive your righteous forgiveness? No thank you. I’ll pass. You must face the fact that no one owes you anything, ever. Not loyalty, allegiance, or honesty. The rational conscious reason a person decides to be with another is simply because he/she wants to be and for no other reason. IF that matters to you, THEN it matters. There are no steel handcuffs that bind eternally. We are all liberty endowed human beings. FREE Agents, no less. Relationship, partnership or marriage in no way infringes upon that sacred individual innate vow. It’s all a matter of realizing and accepting your underlying fear. You want some sort of promise or guarantee. There are none. Promises are made to be broken and guarantees are the sole property of death, alone. Face the unflattering truth about yourself and all others; we desire things to go in our favor. We want benefit and pleasure with very little pain and certainly no disappointment. We want somebody to pledge to ‘be there forever and ever’ without recoil or changing his/her mind. No such luck. “Aint gonna happen,” said the captain when the bruised and tired shipmates asked if they, too, could all share equally in the long sought after huge treasure chest filled to overflowing of gold coins. The truth is: your daily walk and relationships are going to be filled with obstacles, restraints, disappointments, and general dead end enterprises. Some of your involvements are going to break your heart, destroy your mind, ruin your self-confidence and rip open your guts merely to smear them all along the highway of your personal life for everyone who is important to see and comment. So what? You are equal to and can surpass any self-imposed barrier you create and meet along the way. It’s part of your grand self-designed path to self-discovery. That’s how you grow and evolve, through the pacifying of your soul’s Oscar winning performance in suffering. “Hurt ME One More Time, Please.” Patience is indeed the greatest virtue given to mankind. The only sure way to develop more of it is to be refused or delayed the things you THINK you desire. The reason I use the word THINK is because the things you really need will never be held back from you. It’s impossible! Ever. Nothing that truly belongs to you can be withheld or taken from you. It’s just one of the ‘twists and turns’ in the divine plot of your personal life. {A clever ploy to distract you temporarily while you figure out how to redeem yourself.}I think they call that salvation or something on that order.
Write Review Rating Recommend Print Report All owner's listing
Article Directory 
